You❜ve Ruined My Life Mum

  • Parents Only

By: Lisa Wolff, ellaslist

No one ever said parenting was easy! Of course we’ll go to the end of the earth and back again to make our kids smile BUT there are limits. When your child throws a dramatic tantrum in the middle of the shopping centre because you wouldn’t buy her that box of giant cupcakes, sometimes all you can do is shake your head and take out your phone to document this crazy irrationality!

We had a rummage through the hilarious Assholeparents Instagram Page that spotlight those hair-pulling moments when you just can’t do anything to please. And we’ve found some beauts!

I Ruined My Kid’s Life Because…

1. Queen Elsa

I accidentally called her by her real name, instead of, “Elsa.”

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

2. Meeting People Is Not Okay

This is my daughter glaring at me. Obviously, I ruined her life because I made her go to story time at the library where there is music and toys and snacks and friends.

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

3. It’s Not Okay To Crash A Tea Party

I ruined her life because what I called “a mess” was really “a fun party.”

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

4. Want To Eat Goat Poop?

I ruined his life because I wouldn’t let him eat goat poop.

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

5. Playing With Knives…

I wouldn’t let him run around the restaurant with a knife, so now I ruined his life.

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

6. The Dog Is A Horse, Mum

I ruined his life because I won’t let him ride the dog like a horse

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

7. The Age Limit Is Unjust

I ruined his life because I wouldn’t let him drive the car.

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

8. Hygiene Is Overrated

I wouldn’t let him put the toilet brush in his mouth. Clearly I, ruined his life.

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

9. Mum Why Can’t You Control Light??

Her shadow was following her. and I did nothing about it. So now I ruined her life.

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

10. Ok Forget Light, At Least Control The Currents

I ruined her life because the waves were too strong and I couldn’t make them stop.

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

11. But Who Needs to Know How To Swim?

Your kid can’t swim and you’re trying to stop him from running into deeper water so that makes me a parent who has ruined his kid’s life

Source: Assholeparents / instagram

12. Now I’m Just Hangry

She grabs the bowl and dumps it on her head so now I’ve ruined her life (And yes- the spaghetti was cold)

Source: Assholeparents / instagram


Want more funny articles? Check out All Hail: The Hot Dog Princess or see The Cereal-ously Silly Cheerio Challenge.