By: Phoebe Ackland, ellaslist
We just love Hurrah For Gin! Her adults-only cartoons capture the true essence of parenthood perfectly- we bet all mums can relate to this fail of a mum’s night out that had us in hysterics.
It’s Christmas time, and we bet you’ll just love her surprisingly relatable Perfect Christmas Timeline. Here are some snippets that resemble the wonderful and often chaotic Christmas Day experience shared by parents all over the world.
Children will be particularly exuberant on Christmas morning, but unlike other mornings, chucking them in front of the television isn’t appropriate. Top tip from Hurrah For Gin: “Try and resist puking into own mouth due to the tired.”
Caffeine is your go-to at this point. Down coffee until someone (“not me, because the Daily Mail readers already think I am an offensive alcoholic”- Hurrah For Gin) suggests to crack a bottle of bubbly.
The official present opening begins- make sure you “Don hard hats, cross fingers and come armed with a screwdriver and batteries.”
Post-present opening, survivors amongst the wreckage are searched for, and hopefully, found.
Until about 1pm, lunch prep is well and truly underway, and you take the role as head chef very seriously.
At 2pm, the whole family sits down for a leisurely, indulgent lunch. At 2.02pm, the kids have finished.
With new toys in hand, the kids begin to fight.
About 45 minutes later, the fighting has not ceased.
Christmas has been pretty magical thus far, but it’s starting to wear pretty thin. In fact, the magical spirit of Christmas is flying out the window.
By the late afternoon, the liquor is freely flowing- thank God! “Suggest cocktails, make each round with decreasing skill and increasing alcohol.”
It’s now about 5pm, and at this stage, your maturity level much better suits hanging out with the kids. Encourage them to do hilarious things.
The kids have gone to bed, so now the real adult fun can begin. Maybe a Christmas movie, followed by a board game. “Make promise to self not to get all ridiculously competitive about non consequential things…”
From 8pm, things are a bit more sloppy. Maybe you do some washing up, maybe you talk politics, maybe you engage in a D and M. You’re a little bit peckish at this stage, and being the good host you are, whip out the pyramid of Ferrero Rochers.
Close to midnight, you fall asleep with your mouth open on the couch. You might have a breadstick stuck to your cheek and your hand stuffed right into a box of Cadbury Favourites. “You is beautiful. You is amazing. You is the winner of Christmas!”