By: Phoebe Ackland, ellaslist
We couldn’t stop laughing at Hurrah For Gin’s recent post- an illustrated story “Mums on the Razz” detailing what mums nights out really look like! Have you ever tried to round up all the girls for a champagne-filled trip down pre-baby memory lane? If you’re anything like us, your efforts were probably pretty comical.
1. There’s Always One
Although you and your friends have had a save-the-date on this night for months, there’s always one that just can’t seem to make it.
2. Shopping Used To Be Fun
Remember back to when you’d get so excited about wearing a brand new outfit on a Saturday night out and that the more people that saw you, the better?! Those days are long gone. What do people even wear out these days?!
3. ellaslist Top Tip
Since the outfit is a disgrace, you decide to make up for it with a gorgeously painted face. Take Hurrah For Gin’s tip and “Drink whilst you do your make up because it makes you think it looks better.”
4. The Liquor Kicks In
Forget the nightmare it was to get to this point- you’ve all (well, almost all) made it to your girls night out! Plenty of photos for Instagram and Facebook are a must.
5. The Liquor Really Kicks In
Although you probably went into the night with a drinking game plan that involved sticking to one drink all night, you ended up drinking something that looked a little like this:
6. Water After Every Cocktail
After a few champagnes, water just doesn’t seem to cut it…
7. The Drunken “I Love You Girls” Spiel
At some stage, you will all find yourselves in the bathroom together confessing your undying friendship.
8. Go Wild
If your mum’s night out is anything like Hurrah For Gins’s, then once you make your way out of the bathroom, you’ll probably do one or a combination of the following wild things: “Perform some lunges, do shots of tequila, steal someones jaunty hat, try and flirt with a hipster.Why not be a total ROCKSTAR and do all of the above simultaneously.”
9. Reality Sets In
It’s probably only around 10pm when your realise the girls night out so far has really take it out of you. Either you or a friend is probably in the pokie machine room mooching cigarettes from a group of barely 18 year old boys.
10. The Rest Of The Crew
Apart from mooching cigarettes, you glance around the club to check up on your friends- most likely they’ll be humping pot plants, harassing strangers or dancing on table tops.
11. Time To Go
After deciding pot plant humping took it a step too far, you head straight to McDonalds for a traditional drunken feast and cry over boys that broke your heart in high school.
12. Taxi Driver Diversion
One of your girls cleverly distracts the taxi driver with boring conversation whilst another has a tactical vom in her handbag.
13. You’ve Made It Home
No doubt you’ve lost your keys and are now proceeding to bang on the door, waking the kids up until your husband lets you in with a very unimpressed look on his face.
14. Bed Time
You heave yourself onto the bed fully clothed, for a nice long sleep. But as suspected, the kids have no idea what a sleep-in is.
15. The Morning After
Gone are the days of blissful, lazy hangover days in bed…now you’ve probably got a 10am start to get to your child’s friend’s birthday party at an indoor play ground. What joy.